Hope

A little over a year from DOS (Date of Separation), I received a call from one of my angels (A1). She was at dinner with another angel (A2) and they wanted to visit me in California. They proposed a weekend that they were available and shockingly enough, so was I.

A1 had been walking my journey with me from DOS. She had been calling, texting, checking on me at least once a week since the very beginning. There hadn’t been a full week that I didn’t hear from her – she was my lifeline. Needless to say, she knew where I was at mentally and emotionally and had an instinct for exactly what I needed. You see, A2 had gone through a divorce as well a bit ahead of me and was thriving.

They came into town on a Friday and would be there until Sunday. We spent the weekend hiking, shopping, eating, drinking, dancing, laughing, crying and talking. It was magical. Out of everything we did, what struck me the most was when I would mention how I was feeling, A2 would say, “I remember feeling that way”… It was a memory, not her current state. I’ve mentioned before that I wasn’t sure I would ever feel happy again and I had accepted that. I was resigned to the fact that life was not going to be the way I pictured it and that was that. UNTIL, that weekend. I could see with my own eyes that it was possible to move on and be fulfilled. I finally had hope.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness” ~Desmond Tutu

That spark of hope (along with my ant-anxiety meds) gave me the inspiration to start moving again. Moving towards a future that might not be the high dollar, big screen movie I had always envisioned, but a manageable, low budget film (a quote from A10). Something I could embrace at that moment. I started taking actionable steps toward my new life. Selling household items on FB market place, looking for a new place to live, so on and so forth.

Looking at where I’m at right now is lightyears away from where I was before that weekend. As I look back through the last 2 1/2 years since then, so many changes have taken place but that weekend, that spark of hope is what set the stage for major growth. At my core, I think I’m still the same person, however the amount of growth that I’ve gone through is beyond my wildest dreams. I am stronger, I am more confident and I know that whatever life throws at me, I will be just fine.

I am wishing hope, peace and love to all of my wonderful friends!

XOXO ~ Steph